Too busy to date!

It is sorta sad but maybe a good thing that I stay too busy to date these days! I had to work tues and before it had to go by the doctors then after work go pay car ins then pick up my 7 yr old then get home to have mt 13 yr old call to come get him (needed ride to game) So I got him run thru Checkers then go by home then take him to the game (plays in the band..they won big time yea) then go to McDonalds with my 7 yr old (they was so slow and giving others their food first ...had to bittch lol then split the soda then ate then went to cub scouts then after picked up mu 13 yr old son then back to my home then after they bathed ect had to take the 13 yr old back home!! Good thing all 3 of my exs and sons dads live within like 5 miles now!
Tonight I have to go out but figured I have not been on (getting used to my new 2nd job or could say I have 3 jobs lol shoot life is nothing but a 24 hr job when you have kids! I only could sleep like 3 hours last night because of my doctor pissed me off (more on that later but the health department really sucks now they have changed the past few yrs) I work hard with no help from anyone and no medical so I go there but they treat you like worse than if you did get government help I think) But the one I go to has a new doctor and she is so freaking rude!
I bitchhh alot as its not easy being a single mother but Id have it no other way...well sorta lol ;-)

Raising sons being single!

Raising sons alone can be hard but I would never trade one second of it! I had my sons birthday Oct. 2nd and he is 7 (my youngest) But it was a night when he also had cub scouts (his dad put off the sports sign ups again (I have to keep on him about everything that is his only child support (daycare and extras) But we share him also bi-weekly swapping one day! So I had cub scouts for him and then my 13 yr old son calls (long story with dad but moved back here and here almost every night for the past couple months) I guess his ex-step mom lawyer used to do the band drives ect because he wanted me to take him to and watch the middle school football game like the last time but I had to drop him off and hope the rain did not cancel him out to go to the cub scouts then when I went to get him I thought I may be late ready to leave the cub scout meeting early lol but I got to the middle school at 825 and the extras of the game was still going on and my son wanted to wait around so I left there at 9 then he wanted to stop by home first then had to take him to his dads then when me and my 7yr old get home my 17 yr old was here! Thats what keeps me here they all live within like 5 miles of me even my 20 yr old whom I dont see so much these days! He moved out when he was 19! Omgosh what a night trying to squeeze a birthday party in between lol meanwhile my landlord was on my buttt to get the rent paid in full on the 2nd for this month so had to worry of that also! My 17 yr old was going to play basket ball also but did not he is very tall 6'6" at 17 and my 13 yr old wanted to play basket ball but dad would not let him then moving this summer he did not get in time so stayed on the band he says next year he cant be on the band (afraid of being stigmatized but also he really wants to play foot ball (he does have the build) an inch taller than I am at 13! I am 5'7" You do the math lol The past couple years my 13 and 17 yr old was either off at school or lived further so It was really hard for me not seeing them a lot! But I do try real hard but with that and working 2 jobs it is so hard sometimes but I have always said I would and have always answered that question if you put a man or kids first (I hate them kinda questions lol ;-)) But I always have and will put my kids first even when at times they may not deserve it :-) I do have 4 boys 20-7 but I never could find the right man I had a live in relationship for 2 yrs each for 2 of my kids dads and around 7 for the other sons dad (off and on a little with it) So I have been single the majority of my adult life But all that matters to me are my kids and loving life not material things!

Fools Rush Love!

Why do some people meet and then spend every night together from that moment on! I always heard the correct way to date was take it slow to get to know someone (though now at my age I know that it may not matter because guys act perfect for the first couple months or even half a year or so until you live with them and their true colors come out) But I see so many people that do rush it and I wonder if some people are different on how they go into a relationship or they are just stupid lol (pardon the harshness) Or I just never met someone I loved that much...I did love one guy I met from the first site of our eyes meeting but it was a bad time for both us ect long story short but to this day I do miss that feeling! I have been so busy lately it is crazy! I guess one day I will have more time to date or I just need to make it happen somehow or maybe I am just not ready...But it has been a long time and sometimes I worry as some tell me I will be single forever lol but those who know me know I will never settle again! I stay so busy with my sons even if it is less now that they are mostly grown...I tend to let it take over my life! One day One day lol

It's not always easy being a single woman!

It's not always easy being single and a woman with a big heart! I usually hate to hurt a guys feeling so I tend to avoid them when I don't want to see them or deal with them! Sometimes I am afraid to date as when I left all my 3 exs that was live in I wanted out but dang it sucked big time! And I am very picky and figure it is not worth dating someone unless I am 100 percent into it and frankly because I cant relocate I feel stuck in never finding the right guy! I used to date a ton around 6 yrs ago I was like wow this is so cool ...so many great single men wow but then reality set in lol So many live so far away and could not relocate and the ones who could (sure I have got ragged for saying this before and it is a touchy thing) But someone that could easly relocate I dont think I would want them and I am by far someone that is money hungry or else I would not be struggling being single so many years and live alone and keep my pride but I have thought of that I have seen a cute guy in a fast food and was like could I date a guy that did ...lol..At my age I guess you expect the guy to have it together lol Sometimes people tell me I am crazy to not go for money only love but I just can't I can't fake feelings and then the other problem is I went not for looks but the personality (well it did change some to worry me but all and all he is just a nice guy) But I got bored and not attracted to him intimately really it was like he was a brother no offense to my ex see thats me they would dog me out in a sec especially since I will not be with them anymore well not so bad these days (they know I am too old for it or they are lol but sometimes it comes back the anger to this day thru my kids and the contact but not often now as they get older ect thank God for small favors lol) But I forgot what started this lol Oh Being single and the hard times with it and a women alone has issues a man never would like guys that I don''t see no more even my ex's still pester me or want me or if u date they go phone happy on you (the ones that don't may be phone happy too just to many women at once lol ;-) But I hate to tell someone I date that I don't like them as I hate to hurt their feelings but thats part of dating I guess! I don't know lol my ex from years ago my 17 yr olds dad said (he is much older than I am 15 yrs lol I was a 19 yr old he was mean and rowdy spoiled but athletic Jew lol) But he said I wish you would just find you someone good for you not all men are bad don't let us your ex's ruin it for you lol So but sorta funny but true! I don't ever want to fall for the wrong person again and how do you know ..it takes time and I am hard to give that time freely! Well I am cool with being single but the people that meet an fall at first site I am not ...more careful whom I date and see it saved me from a bad relationship...some people don't take the time to know the person for who they really are faults and all! I may be one old maid waiting on my perfect match to be in my neighborhood or able to relocate to be with me until I die and go to heaven (I hope lol ;-) I do believe but not a perfect angel here lol been called one but I am not perfect lol kids out of wedlock for one lol But any who I do have strong faith ect.

Good night I am off to bed and done venting lol

Alone on a Saturday night!

I am home alone and it is Saturday evening!
I get comments on why someone that looks good and can get guys would choice to stay single?
Well I can tell you some times I get lonely or wish I had someone special but at this point in my life, besides distance being a factor from the net dating, that I have had 3 live in boyfriends (yes, I never married) and I thought they was great at first then realized it just was not there anymore!
People change grown and show their true selves!
I am afraid to go thru that again! It is easier to put my focus on my kids and self and after that I have little time to worry about being single!
And when you have had 4 boys 20, 17, 13, and almost 7 (oct ;-) you really enjoy that alone time something I never got most of my adult years!
The hardest thing is doing it all on my own and not always having anything extra left and time with my kids as to my career has always been my priority (own boss pretty much most my life but always worked hard too! I had days of work to kids in soccer and one nursing lol but I guess It makes you who you are and to me there is no joy greater than being a parent even in the hard times! Having a man in my life used to give me the same pleasure and good feelings but I have not let myself have that in some time (not the full time kind lol been like 6 yrs single) When I think of it like that I miss it mmm okay its late and now my thoughts are on a roll lol
Maybe nothing does last forever sad as it is and how weird does life change ones whole thoughts ...I wonder what they will be like when I well if I am blessed enough to be 70 lol I used to not want to be old! But there is something to it not so bad after all!